Wednesday 20 July 2011

Studious sycophants and why lack of mental exercise is highly important

College life is full of examples that you would feel obliged to tear your hair out at or (preferably) kick someone in the balls for. These examples are usually cooked up by some of those no good dilettantes sitting around in one large circle in a dingy room rapt in their rather pointless conversations on absolutely pointless topics. These people, who I must admit, are now some of my closest friends and well wishers, are brilliant, because they possess a myriad of talents, chief among which is NOT STUDYING.

Yes, NOT STUDYING, those two magical words form the epitome of the zenith of the apogee of the height of talent that collegiates seem to (mostly not) possess in abundance. In short, it is something laudable and concomitantly rare in most college students. At least in my college. Not studying is something that no one in my college seems to be able to accomplish successfully. Which makes those who can, something akin to living legends. Mostly, such people enjoy the respect and adulation of the mob, as well as rather limited successes which are magnified by the degree of (lack of ) effort they might have put in. TO put an end to any digressions, and get to the most elusive of all topics, the point. As such, this is a LIST post, and is one of the easiest to write about, because lists just write themselves don't they??

Here's why NOT STUDYING makes so much more sense than...well,everything else:

1. Not studying makes people believe that you have other mysterious, and very impressive talents. Such people are in awe of your prowess at almost anything, this might include being able to drink water through your nose, or being able to unfasten a bra with just one hand...

2. If perchance, you lack abovementioned talents, then people naturally assume you're cool, a dude, or equivalent euphemism...just because you don't study means you must be.

3. You can laugh in the face of danger, your HOD, your PhD mentor, your (highly successful) peers, a buffalo (if you're high enough on ganja) or a laughing hyena (if you're low enough), or a 16 wheeled TATA ZX-1 truck (if you're suicidal enough or high enough on ganja).

4.You have enough time to blog on absolutely any topic, this including the insect who met his tragic end one day while scaling your LAN cable or that weird M.Tech. student across the hall..

5. You get better grades than the guy next to you, even though you only studied for an hour, and he was up till 4 drinking coffee and working out solved examples and bugging you with doubts like,"DUDE,What's the square root of pi?"

6. You can play stupid ass computer games, and pretend they are real, and debate on them with a gusto reserved for oil price hikes and attendance shortages.

7. If you decide, one day, to hang yourself no one would notice until some guy says,"Abe, khana khaane chale?" to your corpse.

8. While in a fit of alcohol induced soporific ramblings, you stumble upon the secret to life, and forget all about it two hours later..only to remember it two years later while you drink yourself to death after no company would recruit you because they called you for a series of interviews, and you didn't study for any of it.

9. Most people would envy you, and those who didn't would be too busy studying to care anyway.

10. You can make lists out of absolutely anything. Yes, that means anything.
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