Friday, 27 May 2011

Priapic Pastimes and Deceptive Deodorants

So, the government of India has now banned a sexy deodorant commercial. This, barely qualifies as news. And the fact that I read this on BBC's South Asia website is testament to the complete lack of earth shattering events occurring in Asia after Osama bin Laden's (rather accidental) death. So now, we are treated to the blazing rhetoric of (really sad) government employees, which is passed off as breaking (rather questionable) news. Parenthetical interruptions aside, they really have taken the Wild Stone commercials off air..and increased the popularity of WS deodorants, and sales, by a massive percentage.

Which is brilliant!! These defenders of morality,so called bastions of Indian culture, basically have no other work to do than sit down in front of the TV all day long, and surf through those salacious channels (MTv, FTv, Vtv, and other devilspawned entertainment) looking for the least trace of nudity or other objectionable sexual content. So these idiots, who happen to be highly paid government servants (no surprises there), can lay down the line.

Whatever happened to rights here. The right to free speech, free broadcasting, most importantly, free FUCK. I mean for God's sake, people in India fuck. Like crazy bunnies on steroids. WE did not attain a population of 1.3 billion by sitting on our haunches and waiting for storks. And yes, deodorants are meant to attract women. NOT cows/ pigs/ rodents. So yes, if a deo company implies that using their product would help a man get lucky then, it is a sensible , albeit lascivious ad.

And while the people who enforce such bans think pheromone is a species of mountain gorilla, and are busy trying to find which finger is lodged up their ass, most members of the (semi)knowledgeable public also support the enforcement of such bans. After all, they have kids at home, and kids are at an impressionable age, and of course they really shouldn't be taught about how they got made in the first place. And that really bad (really really embarrassing) SEX talk, that most families avoid. Not that it has anything to do with the sort of deodorant their father might have used anyway.

To face facts, Body Odour is a big turn off anyway...and deodorants have every right to be sexy. And there will always be government employees, with fancy sounding titles and designations, and characteristically, if not eponymously little work to be done.

Other than staring at overtly sexual ads for personal grooming products. And shaking their heads at a pair of boobs or legs, and going tch tch. And deciding that deodorants truly are the work of the devil.

And wondering about why they never got any, back in their time...

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