Monday, 7 May 2012

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Aldehyde

"My love affair with everywhere, was innocent, why do you care?" -Red Hot Chili Peppers, Wet Sand

I am still reeling under the shock of the weighty revelations that I received this morning. That of people actually being interested in what I write. Strangely enough, dear reader, you seem to read, and actually like most of the blogs that spew forth from my rather modestly priced laptop, and rather immodestly retarded brain. Equally strange, I seem to have received 4900 hits for the 153 blog posts I have written, and assuming the highly overpaid engineers at Google aren't complete idiots and know something of what they are doing, they must be unique.

Which means that an average of 30 odd people would actually take some time off to read the stuff that I write. Which should make me suffocate under the burden of an unbelievably large quantum of expectations.

Yeah right!!

A common complaint is that no one can actually understand what I write. Presumably, they just read my blog because they're preparing for the GRE, GMAT or any other acronymous(read shit) examination that requires a healthy knowledge of English. Considering that I never let my prose adumbrate the exigency of my epistles, I dont feel like anyone would hope to gain any sort of reasonable knowledge of English, or anything else for that matter from my blog. So then, why do people read it? Let's face it, most blogs really don't talk about anything in particular, other than that of opinions. And the larger the number of opinions that are present, the larger the number of interested readers logging on to get their fill.

But that's not the point at all.

The point is, being a polyvore or a polymath(I forget which is which) enables me to write on probably every topic in the world. Which probably isn't a good thing, since I do not happen to be a hot girl. Considering that there isn't any dearth of hot girls anymore in the world(seriously...what the hell happened to average-looking females in this country?!) I would be out of business if any one of them figured out what a blog was. OR how to log into their google account AND then create a Blogger account.

So, I guess I would continue to extol the virtues of writing, on any range of topics, ranging from alcohols to aldehydes, and from zebras to, well, bras. And all manner of exhortations aside, the world economy really wouldn't engage as much attention as the sort of explosive chemistry that would allow you to make TNT using some ice and a bottle of shampoo.

Or I could just write about bras...