Ubiquitous Couples, and Ludicrous Aphorisms that you couldn’t do without

They’re EVERYWHERE!! You really can’t set foot outside your hostel without running into one of these. And, very soon, they’re going to take over the world. Yes…I’m talking about stray dogs. The scary ones, with big teeth , no Little Red Riding Hood reference here, that would rather rip into your throat than wag their tails at you. Also, the stupid ones that find it really convenient to leave their mark uncomfortably close to your room. And their mark inevitably consists of a giant, smelly piece of…you get the picture.

But, another species, in our college at least, is fast approaching the terrifying numbers of the strays. That would be what the title is all about. And, yes, if your tubelight needs a new capacitor(engineering jokes are soo lame), I am, in fact talking about couples.
See, a couple, in our college at least, has an intelligence quotient where the whole, is much less than the sum of its parts. What happens is that you take a really smart guy(NOT the smarty waala smart, no, I mean intelligent),and a really smart girl, and voila, you have a really dumb couple.

The bounds of their stupidity would really astound you, if you were at all interested in it. And most of the time, you are. Its human nature. Girls love it, because it gives them new fodder for gossip, and a generally warm feeling about their own intelligence vis a vis the poor girl half of the couple. They think..Ha Ha..there’s no way I could be thaaat stupid… And that’s right before..they’re all over youtube belly dancing to some awful song called didi..

And, just yesterday, I found this really nice couple, whispering sweet nothings to each other, and generally indulging in what the MNS/RSS would call bloody indecent behaviour, under a tree, by the side of a busy road, in front of a professor’s house. Presumably they wanted privacy. So they stayed that way for a half hour, before zipping off. Presumably, to find another busy road or professor’s house, or something.

But really, most couples are ostentatiously garrulous, and rather obscene, and this, in a not so subtle way, is just to make you feel bad about yourself. And, well, why not. They are, so obviously, better than you. And have every right to enjoy it, while it lasts.
And well, just like the guy who married a Chinese girl, and when she died within a year, shrugged his shoulders and said…well, she was Chinese…how long did you expect her to last? Couples, in our college at least, have an alarming tendency to be rather.. ephemeral. They would be like the faint jet engine white trail that we used to stare at when we were kids (admit it..you still do..). They’re pretty while they last, and then just fade out. And , of course, in the Great Indian tradition, don’t ever speak to each other, ever again.

No, but really, what would the world be like without couples? We wouldn’t have the highly armed and extremely volatile, and very effective division of the police..called the moral police. We wouldn’t have any torque. And we wouldn’t have anything to make us hang our heads in shame and wonder, What in hell is wrong with me…oh, yeah,err.. right. But, above all, we wouldn’t have any juicy gossip and rather apocryphal news. Not to mention verbose articles extolling their virtues.