Friday, 19 March 2010

Relegation and the Half Baked Indian

"Who needs action when you've got words." -Nirvana, Plateau

This blog was started off by accident last night while I was having my dinner. The people sitting next to me were discussing(what else?) the IPL. Or rather, berating the IPL. Now the leader of the discussion, was a rather "knowledgeable" fellow, was sharing his views on how the IPL in its current avatar was, and I quote, "a rather chutiyatic league". For those of you who might be slightly unfamiliar with the Indian dialect of Bhojpurinized(is that even a word??) English, and even more lost when it comes to slang in that vein, I rephrase that as "a rather BAD league". He then proceeded to inform his fellow diners about how the IPL, could take a leaf out of the EPL, yes, the acronym for the immensely popular English Premier League. How??, somebody had the nerve to ask...

Now after giving this someone a frosty glare, he said... well, there is a league just below the EPL, called the Coca Cola League(presumably they play for soft drinks)...and well, the top two teams from this league are promoted. Of course, this means that the bottom two teams from the EPL would be relegated. Now this was all well and good... until someone asked... What does relegated mean?

Its probably the words...We are a generation of Half Baked Indians which won Aravind Adiga the Booker Prize for the White Tiger. Or maybe its the poverty that the westerners just lap up, take Slumdog Millionaire as the best example. Either way, its pretty self evident that we should jsut stick to cricket and not venture into the unknown realms of football or tennis, or Olympic Gold Medals. Yes, here are some of the sports Indians are good at..

1. (Watching)Cricket- This is the obvious choice of course. In a country where all sorts of alleys, gulleys, and trolleys are used for an infinite variation in what is quintessentially a proper sport...

2. Chess- While lacking the physical (and mental) stresses that makes cricket such a thrill, chess still has the mass following of 2 people. That doesn't stop Indians from being really good at the game however. Now if only we could beat those damned Russians...

3. Women's Badminton- So what if Deepika Padukone took up acting...we didn't really need another hot badminton player. And who really watches women's tennis anymore?? Badminton is the new tennis...Saina is the new Sania.. and yes the public has a short attention span.

4.Entrance Examinations- NO...I did not start writing a new blog without finishing this one. Writing Entrance Examinations is the favourite sport of all youth aged between 16-20, and has a fan following unrivalled by any of the above sports. And its propbably the only sport Indians are world beaters at...

5.Software (Under)Development- Yeah, you got that right...and it had to figure on this list. Presumably it was an Indian who invented the weather gadget..so you need never look outside your window ever again...

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