Thursday, 26 August 2010

Deranged Dogma...and NO its not rabies that you have...

Well the great thing about living in a college in Varanasi for the greater part fo the year is that you find absolutely no shortage of nihilists only too willing to tell you what exactly yo ushould do in your rather unfulfilling life. Yes...we have all sorts in our college..and plenty of really irritating redheads with 32 yellow teeth flashing after every comma or fullstop in their version of a funny sentence. And by plenty I mean ONE. YOU know who you are...carrot top...

So..what do you do when your views/intellect/intelligence(yes they are not the same)...are narrower than the gullys of this godforsaken city? You do what any normal person would do...Pretend that you are the only one with an opinion worth listening to, and well pretend your cochlea is shot whenever anyone dares to oppose you. WHich no one would...of course..because they fear your wrath..and..you know the rest.

In truth..to be anyone with an opinion, you should have the one quality that most idiots, and most successful people have in common...resilience. Now unlike most stupid Materials Science professors would have you believe, resilience is not a product of stress and strain halved...no its something much bigger than that. Resilience is the sort of thing that allows you to say Fuck You Asshole...to anyone who might raise their little finger in opposition to you...and do something a bit more hideous to anyone raising any other fingers...

Anyway..its the place in the post that you skip to anyway...(sigh)..well here it is..the list...again
what you could do if you are pigheaded...stupid...retarded..or various percentages of the above..

1.Kill dissenters. Yeah..it works. You could adopt a ball instead. Its much more amiable, and wont ever talk back to you. And also pretend those songs in your head are from your imaginary iPod...

2.Run for election from ANY constituency in Jharkhand...it should do wonders for your self confidence..and be sure to complete step 1 first.

3.Join my department. We ave plenty of pigheads here..one more would be welcome.

4.Laugh at everything...yes...everything..Say something incomprehensible first...for added effect..

5.Just refuse to listen to reason...Sing Lady GAGA songs at anyone who might stop by to offer you some..

Yeah...I would have written a Pighead Egoist Manual for Dummies...but then again...that would just defeat the purpose...

1 comment:

  1. Cooolll....only meta & material sc ppl can write such a Fantabulous post...ha ha ha ...Well...its not very difficult to fathom the mystery behind irritating redhead...i could figure out who are you talkin bout...if m not wrong...lolzz...

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