Those Devious Defenders of Indian Decency

Okay, so all this started when I opened up google news one morning, in order to refresh my mind with the latest inanity prevalent in the world. I found something to interest me, in one rather gaudy flashing link, which informed me that there was a very very lascivious sex scandal afoot, involving the Goddess of wealth Lakshmi, and an Australian bikini.

Now, it did not behove me to take such a prurient interest in matters involving the Hindu Religion and Aussie bathing garments, however, as I was pretty free of work, and as there was absolutely no possibility of me getting any action in the near future, I decided to excercise my meta phalanges, and proceeded to click on the aforementioned link.

You can imagine my disappointment when I found that it was not in fact the Goddess Lakshmi wearing a bikini, but an Aussie model. And strangely enough the site had zoomed in on her ass crack, which rather unfortunately coincided with the position of the deity's face. For a moment I felt temporally disaligned, and tried to process the wealth of visual information presented to me. After I had managed to do this, I proceeded to scroll down to the next paragraph of the article.

Of course, the next image was a slightly more familiar one. That of people wearing saffron scarves, and burning the flag of Australia. And most probably shouthing things like "Those Aussie bastards!!"

And these people are the ones whom my blog is dedicated to. I mean, they are everywhere these days!! And, I, for one, am thankful. I mean, they are pretty much the only reason my Hindutva honour cannot be touched, and why I can sleep soundly, secure in my Hindutva-ness. They are the ones who provide that much needed security to Hindus worldwide. They are the bastions of morality, the protectors of common decency.

These people are so concerned about the prevalence of immorality in contemporary Indian society that they take it upon themselves to kick the shit out of anyone who is improperly dressed, or engaged in a show of public affection. Because come on...no one wants to see a thigh or a boob flash. And no one wants to watch a hot couple get it on, on a park bench. These things are against Indian Values.

Which brings us to that vague and rather nebulous term, INDIAN VALUES. No one knows what they are, most are freely editable to suit the needs of so and so Political Parties. One thing which is definitely not an Indian value is SEX. According to an official spokesperson for the so called Protectors of the Indian Values(yes they have spokespeople, PR reps, and surveys too, who doesn't these days), sex does not exist. And therefore we have solved one big problem facing our society today, that of over population.

Yes, China needed laws against childbirth, we just decided to get rid of sex. Officially, sex does not happen in this country. Which is brilliant. Thanks to those righteous defenders of the Indian Values system.

And while most of these people were out in the streets, chanting names and condemning the Aussies, you'd be surprised at how many volunteer for social service in urban slums and poor rural areas. And while it is really easy to defend the Indian Values, what is not easy is to remove something even more quintessentially Indian.

Indian Poverty.